Are you simply changing the words without addressing the feelings behind them?

Published June 29, 2014 by MisMandie

Nothing is a more telling window into a woman’s mind and soul than the words and actions that come out of her children.

I have been so enamored by the way that my friends children and my own speak to each other lately that I can’t help but smile just thinking about it.

They range from the amazing and sweet moments where they say things like  “I love you, pumpkin!” or “Honey, we can’t do that right now…I’m sorry. and “Isn’t she so precious?”   “What a Cutie Patutie!”   As a mama I swell with pride knowing they truly love and care for one another and want to make sure they show it…….

Then there are the slightly less sweet moments that make you step back a bit.  Such as  the day we were at Walmart in the kid’s craft aisle and my own little one looks over at one of the kits that revolved around a fire truck and comes out withThat would be a great one for me and daddy to do together…..If he ever gets his a** out of bed!!”  Standing there surrounded by 3 other mothers and their kids and getting a lot of judgmental looks I didn’t know if I should laugh or correct her…. I simply reminded her that those were “at home words”.   But she said it in such a cute and sweet way and was simply joking and picking on daddy never intending it to be taken in a mean or nasty way.

You see, in our house, we don’t shelter her from the real world and we even allow her to use such words so long as she uses them correctly and politely.  (she can say “You need to sit on your a**” but she cannot say “You are an a**”)  After all, it is the sentiment behind the words that is offensive not the word itself.  That said, I know that not everyone agrees with this thought, and so we make sure that she knows that in public we need to avoid those words so that we do not offend anyone who feels differently.

I find so often that the focus is put on making sure kids are not using the “bad words” rather than not using the “bad emotions”.   Can you really tell me there is a difference between a child using the word “butt” instead of “a**” or the word “crap” instead of “sh**”  if you have anger or resentment in your tone, then the word is not the issue.

Just a little something to thing about the next time you catch yourself or your child substituting the words but still keeping the nastiness of the feelings behind them….



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